The Ritual of Leadership

15 March 25

Table of Contents

Introduction

Inspired by the S-Factorr, I’ve created a mental space where I can step back, regroup, and refocus—allowing me to act with intention and clarity. I also take time to examine what I need to unlearn, especially destructive patterns like anger and despair. It was the powerful leadership insights from the S-Legend that sparked this seismic shift and led to the creation of an entirely new framework.

Section 1: A Metal Space to Retreat To and Regroup

I created a mental space and a ritual to focus my energy on aligning people around a productive set of goals. In Section 1, I explain the ritual and paint the scenery.

The Log Cabin

The mental image of the log cabin came to me very early in Christa and my relationship as a place where we live away from this world, where important decisions are made, and where we can be alone. This became the perfect setting for me to mentally retreat to in times of pressure.

-> The ritual of going to the cabin

I quiet my mind.

I stop the noise.

I let the world go on without me for a moment.

I stand still.
I breathe.
I let the breath slow.
I feel my heartbeat drop.
I wait until I am still inside.

Only then do I move.

I go to the log cabin.

I see it clearly.
Built from heavy timbers.
The wood dark and smooth from years of use.
It smells of smoke and earth and leather.

The big wooden table stands at the center.
There is a stove.
Pots.
Pans.
A couch against the wall.

This is our place.
Here, there is no debate.
No argument.
No noise.

I walk to the door and open it.
I step inside.

I close the door.

I walk to the table.

I stand before it.

-> Steps to Manage/ Lead Self and Others

In my place of getting ready, I do the following.

* Focus

I breathe in.
I hold it.
I breathe out, slow and controlled.

I clear my mind again.

What is the decision?
What is the action?
What do I want to achieve?

There is only one path. I seek Christa’s advice.

When the information makes the choice clear,
I choose it now.
I do not hesitate.

I do not explain.
I do not argue.

I become still.

I let focus take me like a river current.
It pulls me forward, and I go willingly.

At the center of the table lies the ring.

Simple.
Heavy.
A sign of authority.
A reminder.

I pick up the ring.

* Authority

I stand upright.
I straighten my back.
I open my chest.
I become bigger without moving.

I hold the ring for a moment in my right hand.
I feel its weight.
I feel my own weight.

I put the ring on.

As it slides over my finger, I become the leader.

I am the one who leads.

I look straight ahead.
Then I look away, slowly and deliberately.
I do not search for eyes.
Eyes find me.

I do not ask.
I do not wait for agreement.
I am.

* Tribe

I go to the door.
I put my hand on the handle.
I pause.

I remember the tribe is hardwired to follow certainty.

I open the door.
I step outside.

I see them.

Working.
Living.
Moving together.

They are waiting for leadership they can trust.

This is for us.
This decision serves the tribe.
This is how we do things.

I walk among them.
I belong to them.
They belong to me.

I remind myself—
No one is left behind.

* Emotion

I walk to the shrine.

It stands apart from the others.
It is simple.
Wood.
Stone.
No gold.
No jewels.

I kneel before it.

And I ask the questions aloud:

** Pride
Have I stepped up before?
Will I step up again?
Am I ready to lead?

** Fear
What must I do now before it is too late?
What happens if I hesitate?

** Belonging
Who stands with me?
Who do I stand for?

** Desire
What are we working for?
What will this create for all of us?

I speak.
I listen.
I wait until I feel the answers in my chest.

I rise.

I am ready.

I return from the shrine.
I return to them.

Christa.
T.
Shan.
La.
Armin.
Siegmar.

They are waiting.

I stand among them.

I Lead.

I do this every time.
Before every decision.
Before every training.
Before I speak.

This is my ritual.
This is how I lead.

I follow this powerful ritual often now and as I build the imagery of the cabin out, I update it here. Our log cabin and its ritual have also become a powerful alternative to how I often used to deal with life namely frustration, anger, and in disappointment. Next, we have to tackle this matter head-on.

Section 2: The Myth of Venting Anger – The Warrior’s Mastery Over Heat

There is a temptation that waits for every leader, young or old. It strikes in moments of bitter disappointment when expectations are dashed and the heart grows heavy. In these moments, anger surges—sharp, hot, and demanding release. The impulse is to vent it: to shout, to slam a fist into the table, to let the fire out before it consumes us from within.

I know this temptation well. There have been times when anger rose so violently within me, that I feared it might overwhelm my body entirely—tightening my chest, pounding in my head, leaving me bitterly disheartened. In those moments, I have shouted, reacting in ways that left regret and damage in their wake. But I have also learned that the very instinct to vent is the enemy of true strength.

Modern science confirms what the old warriors understood long before us. In 2024, researchers from Ohio State University reviewed 154 studies on anger and found that venting does not ease fury; it reinforces it. Brad Bushman, one of the lead authors, stated: “Venting anger might sound like a good idea, but there’s not a shred of scientific evidence to support catharsis theory.” Rather than releasing the fire, venting stokes it higher, carving deeper pathways for future anger to follow.

The Schachter-Singer theory explains why: anger is both thought and body. To break its grip, we must quiet the body first. Vigorous activity, even well-meaning physical exertion, raises the body’s arousal and often feeds the fire we wish to extinguish. What truly lowers anger is calm. Slow breathing, stillness, and presence cool the blood and clear the mind.

Siegmar’s strength lies in this restraint. His mastery over himself steadies those around him. This is the essence of leadership—not domination, but discipline. Not power expressed in outbursts, but power held in reserve until it is needed.

For me, the turning point came when I built a space where I could return to that quiet place within myself: my cabin in the woods. Since I set it up, it has transformed the way I handle conflict. That cabin became more than a retreat—it became a ritual. A place where I could slow my breath, quiet my mind, and let the heat fall away. I walk among the trees, listen to the silence, and remember that true leadership is not about winning the moment—but carrying the weight of the tribe through the storm, steady and unshaken.

And so I return there often, in spirit if not in body. It is the most powerful technique I have ever used. It reminds me: that the warrior’s greatest battle is not with his enemies but with the fire inside. And when we master that, we become the leaders we were meant to be.

Reference List

Bushman, B. J. (2002). Does venting anger feed or extinguish the flame? Catharsis, rumination, distraction, anger, and aggressive responding. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 28(6), 724-731.
- This paper critically examines catharsis theory and provides empirical evidence that venting increases anger rather than reduces it.
Bushman, B. J., Baumeister, R. F., & Phillips, C. M. (2001).Do people aggress to improve their mood? Catharsis beliefs, affect regulation opportunity, and aggressive responding. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 81(1), 17.
- A study exploring the myth of catharsis and its impact on emotional regulation and aggression.
Schachter, S., & Singer, J. E. (1962).Cognitive, social, and physiological determinants of emotional state. Psychological Review, 69(5), 379–399.
- The foundational work introducing the Schachter-Singer two-factor theory of emotion, highlighting the interplay between physiology and cognition.
Gross, J. J. (2015).Emotion Regulation: Current Status and Future Prospects. Psychological Inquiry, 26(1), 1–26.
- A comprehensive review of modern theories on how emotions are regulated, especially in leadership and decision-making contexts.
Damasio, A. (1994).Descartes’ Error: Emotion, Reason, and the Human Brain. New York: Putnam.
- Explores the connection between emotion and rational decision-making in the brain, underscoring the importance of emotional control for effective leadership.
Greenleaf, R. K. (1977).Servant Leadership: A Journey into the Nature of Legitimate Power and Greatness. Paulist Press.
- A classic leadership philosophy advocating for leaders who serve first, closely tied to your “tribe” concept.
Goleman, D. (1995).Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More Than IQ. Bantam Books.
- A seminal book outlining how emotional mastery is key to leadership, with practical insights into self-regulation and interpersonal effectiveness.
Goleman, D., Boyatzis, R., & McKee, A. (2002).Primal Leadership: Unleashing the Power of Emotional Intelligence. Harvard Business School Press.
- Explores how leaders can use emotional intelligence to inspire and connect with their teams, relevant to the concept of leading a tribe.
Campbell, J. (1949).The Hero with a Thousand Faces. Princeton University Press.
- Discusses the hero’s journey, which parallels your narrative of retreat, self-mastery, and returning to lead the tribe.
Pressfield, S. (2011).The Warrior Ethos. Black Irish Entertainment LLC.
- A modern interpretation of ancient warrior codes of honor, courage, and leadership, aligning with the ritual and discipline themes in your article.
Seneca. (65 AD).On Anger (De Ira). Translated by Aubrey Stewart.
- A Stoic exploration of anger, discipline, and self-control. Seneca’s work mirrors your points on mastering emotion rather than venting it.
Ryan Holiday (2014).The Obstacle Is the Way: The Timeless Art of Turning Trials into Triumph. Portfolio.
- A modern guide to Stoic philosophy, focusing on resilience and emotional control as core leadership attributes.
Heath, C., & Heath, D. (2010).Switch: How to Change Things When Change Is Hard. Broadway Books.
- Offers strategies for changing behavior, including unlearning destructive habits—relevant to your reflections on unlearning anger and despair.
Boyatzis, R. E., & McKee, A. (2005).Resonant Leadership: Renewing Yourself and Connecting with Others Through Mindfulness, Hope, and Compassion. Harvard Business Press.
- Emphasizes the power of mindfulness and emotional intelligence in sustaining leadership effectiveness.
Kotter, J. P. (1996).Leading Change. Harvard Business Review Press.
- Explains how leaders create lasting transformations within groups—paralleling your framework for tribe leadership.
Wilson, S. (2015).The Spartan Way: What Modern Leaders Can Learn from Ancient Warriors.
- Explores Spartan traditions and their relevance to modern leadership, self-discipline, and team cohesion.
van Gennep, A. (1909).The Rites of Passage.
- Describes rituals and symbolic acts in various cultures, providing a framework for understanding the ritual space you’ve created as a leader.
Csikszentmihalyi, M. (1990).Flow: The Psychology of Optimal Experience. Harper & Row.
- Describes entering a state of focused consciousness that aligns with your concept of “going to the cabin” and becoming ready to lead.
Kabat-Zinn, J. (1994).Wherever You Go, There You Are: Mindfulness Meditation in Everyday Life. Hyperion.
- Explores mindfulness as a method for achieving calm and focus, key to your leadership ritual.
Warrick, D. D. (2011).The Urgent Need for Skilled Transformational Leaders: Integrating Transformational Leadership and Organization Development. Journal of Leadership, Accountability and Ethics, 8(5), 11-26.
- Examines the role of transformational leadership in creating strong, resilient organizations.