12. the light of christmas

zorba, my dragon – calm.  on top of a koppie (hill).  i dont get off.  feel him breath.  hear him snort.  close my eyes.  banish thought.  calm my mind.  warm December Highveld wind against face.

entire body shivers.  runs down my spine. body contorts.  spasms.

Meet Vladimir Horowitz.  Somewhere between Kiev and Johannesburg.  Beethoven   engulfs my suspended mind.  fused – now glides through all reality.

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have been engineering reality since I can remember.  frantic.  building.  exploring.  searching.  challenging.  never satisfied with any answer.  even the questions.

a few nights ago.  Marcus Aurelius and I were talking.  He said that living life is more important than reading many books.

I did not respond.  He was still talking.  I could hear my kids in the pool outside.  He was trying to get my attention when I got up and walk out.

We swam all afternoon.

the next day i spoke to someone who’s mind is at rest.

i feel my sword next to me.  force the deliberate thoughts from my mind.  allow my body to think.  lead in the cosmic dance.

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i see great civilisations.  Anawrahta’s voice thunders through my mind.  startles me.  i am suspended in mid air.  with beethoven and Vladimir Horowitz.

“listen to her, eben!  all answers are inside of you!  I’ve build a great empire from inside my soul!”

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my eyes see images –  beautiful –  there are no words to describe them.

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great waters – fill the entire earth.  spring from africa.  where Zambia, Botswana and Zimbabwe meet.

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earth starts trembling under me.  Zorba – restless.

But . . .

my mind soars.   relax.  For the first time ever I breath because I want to!  Filling my longs with air so that I can live and love becomes more important than all the knowledge on earth.

one short life.  here!  now!

Open my eyes.  Suddenly!  Great danger from the North and the West.  I see every move before it happens.  Been trained for war.  Grew up on the battlefield.  My hand instinctively reach for my sword.  Zorba snorts nervously!  awaiting my command.

“TO WAR!”

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but I dont give it.  the fight will be for another day.

Tomorrow is Christmas.  I dismount.  Walk the 5km home.  Where I help my kids to cook a gammon.

my spirit remains with Vladimir Horowitz.  where i dance over ancient and new lands with my beloved.  Courtesy of JS Bach and Chopin!

we drink wine.  watch the sun set over ancient thoughts and a new life!

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blinded by the unbearable lightness of being.

and christmas.

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3 thoughts on “12. the light of christmas

  1. I argue too often with Marcus Aurelius, him lobbing the ball into my court and insisting I do something with it and all. Most times, I’d rather just watch it roll away, then shrug to Mozart or Segovia … and hope someday to dance over lands both new and ancient. (Will need wine!)

    One bit from MA, however, that sits naturally within: Accept the things to which fate binds you, and love the people with whom fate brings you together, but do so with all your heart.

    That fits.

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